Over the past few months, I’ve felt more alive than any part of my short professional career.
Not by building a startup, by doing deals, or quite frankly by leading any activity that is very professional at all.
But, by doing my best to help others feel more alive. And I think it might be working.
It’s something that has made my heart race, stretched my nights late, and started my mornings while the moon is still high. And in doing this, I think Mason and I have started to create something meaningful with the victory club.
As a byproduct of this creation, a few folks have asked me about how we’ve done it. So I thought I’d translate some of our iteration and intentionality into writing in hopes that it can help others create experiences in their corners of the world that help people feel together alive.
Below is a practical guide to creating community.
What I’ve tried to do is learn from the people who do this the best and then make it my own. This includes a collection of books, essays, and most importantly people like those at @Floodgatefund and @Neo who are the crème de la crème when it comes to treating people right.
Unfolding
One of my favorite essays is called unfolding. In it, @phokarlsson says, “I paid attention to things I liked to do, and found ways to do more of that. I kept iterating—paying attention to the context, removing things that frustrated me, and expanding things that made me feel alive.”
At first, I felt like this is probably too good to be true. Can you actually just do that? But it turns out, you can and it’s actually very, very important. Because if you’re going to stick with it over the long haul, you have to have maximum care. There will be days where nobody shows up and it’s more than a little disheartening. But you just keep going. That’s why truly caring is step 1 to authentic community building.
So I began by asking myself, What do I care about more than other people? What feels easy to me that might seem harder for others?
And then I combined that with questions like, What can I offer that is unbelievably distinct?
And then… victory club was born :)
Begin with one
When most people run events or try to start communities, they often go big. It’s natural to want your event to be an immediate blowout, to increase your reach in one fell swoop.
But unfortunately, this often misses the objective.
Instead you should begin with one. When I was talking to the @Neo team (shoutout Maddie), this is what she shared helped them nail the human experience of a gathering. They started exceptionally small. And now a few years later, they are running weeks-long events with hundreds of people.
This is important for a few reasons:
1/ It gives you the ability to iterate. You will inevitably get v1 wrong - if your entire hopes and dreams are wrapped into the big meatball, it might turn out a little dry.
2/ It allows you to develop your core crew. A community by definition is not for everybody and that’s ok. You need to find the people who will shout your name from the mountaintops, but importantly share your community with their closest friends.
3/ You can develop real relationships. When there are just a few new faces on each occasion, it’s so much easier to ask the questions like: What’s your favorite thing about where you’re from? What does your inner child wish you did more of these days? What’s your favorite feeling?
Then you legitimately start to care about people. And because of victory club, I am now trying to set up a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend on a date with my fiancés best friend. Does it get better than that?!
Bonds and Bridges
This might be the least intuitive but arguably the important piece. When we started victory club, I researched the best books on togetherness and Bowling Alone was one that had the lindy effect. It’s framing, of bonding and bridging capital, has stood the test of time.
Bonding capital is the glue within groups. It’s oftentimes shared experiences and beliefs that reinforces group identity.
Most people focus on this but forget about the second part of the equation, bridging capital, which I think is more important.
Bridges are the connections across groups. These are the ties between people who are different, who come from different worlds, who wouldn’t naturally encounter each other. Bridging capital is how information and opportunity spread across a society. This is what introduces novelty, new ideas, and new opportunities. A strong community needs a lot of bridging capital.
So if you come to a victory club you might be a startup founder, but you might also meet someone who has studied the first light in the history of the universe or spent the past few years making documentaries or someone who studied the classics for their entire college experience and the list goes on.
Without fear
Despite how alive I feel after sessions, I always have a touch of fear as I go to sleep the night before a victory club session. What if it doesn’t go as planned? What if nobody shows up and I embarrass myself? What if it turns out like that one time where we climbed through a forested path to see the sunrise over San Francisco and there was nothing but fog and gale force winds?
Then I remember that was a blast too :)
That’s why the victory club is inspired by an aphorism from one of my favorite humans and leaders, @RobEhsan.
He would always tell our teams at @stanfordmbb, “Be legendary”, which he defined as Inspire others to chase greatness without fear.
There is no reason to be fearful in this world. Risk is real, but fear is not.
So if you’re interested in some excess endorphins in SF or for a murph monday in Palo Alto, see you at 6:30 :)
The best part about all of this is the humans I get to start my days with.
Thank you to @masonwang025, @jakub_smekal, @hla_michael, @LiuLawrence45, @tinabmai, @aadityabuilds, @levchizhov, @SahilBloom, @hannahgao, @kevinjosethomas, @EthanGoodhart, @sheldonblewis, @AnikaSomaia, @JackSoslow, @neurajohn, @brookemrtn, @agniv_s, @darrowoah, @SarvasvKulpati, @romanelli_bio, @lucassvogell, @alexhuang06 and many many others for making this exceptionally live-giving!
More to come.
Some other tips I had jotted down for community building :)
- Introduce some friction
- Referrals are your best friend
- Reward people who keep coming back.
- Take pictures regularly and share them (this is highly underrated!)
- Make it 1% better everyday
- Write down what makes a great member
- Text for follow-ups
- Have a cute mascot like victor :)